A Little Appreciation Goes A Long Way

I have worked with some real assholes.

This is going to be true of anyone in any profession.  There is no screening process, and one person's asshole is another's best friend.  Its just with all the inflated egos - justified or not - in my industry, there seem to be so many more of them.  And the fact that we transition from film to film and you may or may not see any of these people ever again make it more likely that you can be a douche bag and 1) you will never see these people again or 2) by the time you do, you'll both be farther along in your careers and will pretend like it never happened.

A few years ago, I worked on a really really really big movie.  Now, I've worked on movies of all sizes (hello, anyone see Southland Tales?  I hope not, we made it for a quarter and it sucked), and when we made this one, I knew it was big, but I really didn't think it was going to be biggest-box-office-of-all-time kind of big.  This movie was several years in the making, and while they continued to call me with a trickle of needs for almost 2 years, I was pretty much off this movie almost three years ago. 

In the last three months, I have received at least a few emails from the producer of the BIG movie.  If I never receive an email from a producer while we are shooting the movie, that is a good sign, you know?   I am low-man lost on the totem pole, there is no reason a producer should be emailing me.  But this producer has sent out a few emails to the entire crew of the BIG movie over the last few months, letting us know about its progress, even sending us a picture once when he and the director of the BIG movie took it to the troops in the Middle East.  In all of his emails, he continually repeats this sentiment: "this film would not have been possible without you... with my sincerest appreciation... thank you."

This is not something that happens often in my industry, at least not at this level.  You finish a movie, you move on, and maybe down the road you work with some of these crew members again, or even these producers again.  Maybe they remember you and maybe they don't.  You get a "thanks for a great show" and a handshake at the end and you go on to the next one or file for unemployement.

So it has been lovely and refreshing to receive these occasional emails from the BIG producer, even if I am only one of 4,000 people he has probably sent it to.  It has been nice to think that in the journey to great film-dom that the BIG movie has made, maybe this one producer really remembers that his laboring crew of transient carnies is the back that the BIG movie is built on. 

We received his last email today, on the eve of the Academy Awards, and it gave me a little hope, that maybe in the world of pretty, false pretenses we as a business create for the rest of the world, there still exists a little real magic.

It's a Bird.. It's a Plane... It's Supercrank!

Aaargh!  I have been trying for 3 days now to post, and every night when I have the residual energy, Blogger has taken so long to load that I have given up and gone to bed instead.

Because I am exhausted.  I am so tired each night that I actually dream, and this morning, for the first time in at least 2 years, I did not notice when my husband got up and left for work.  I awoke at 6:04am and looked at the clock in panic, thinking, "OMG I HAVE TO SHOWER BEFORE THE BUG WAKES UP!  OTHERWISE THE DAY IS LOST!!" 

I'm feeling extra tired for a few reasons. 

First of all, the Bug has started to crawl in earnest.  Its still mostly the "arm-y crawl" where he drags himself around by his arms, which we think is much easier here given that we have hardwood floors and he can slide around pretty quick.  He is getting his belly up once in a while, but it seems so much easier to give a good pull and slide along on his tiny Buddha belly.  I spend a lot more time vacuuming now, and peering over to see if that's a dust bunny in his mouth, or what other gross thing he has found under the couch.

Secondly, he's starting to give up his 3rd nap.  This means that around 4:30p or so, he throws off his good baby Clark Kent glasses, grows a cape and boots and becomes SUPERCRANK.  Supercrank's amazing powers include the inability to go sleep, the loss of ability to amuse oneself, and the insistence that one be carried in several different positions while struggling, kicking and smacking mom's head with the flat of his hand while she lovingly coos, "Gentle, Caleb, gentle...".  I LOVE SUPERCRANK!

The bonus of the arrival of Supercrank is that Supercrank crashes by 7pm, head lolling back, arms akimbo, and all is quiet.  This is especially important because....

I have gone back to work.  Sort of.

Its still been super-slow production wise in LA, so my plan of going back to work in January was thwarted by the fact that there really hasn't been any work.  My boss had a couple of reshoots come up, and was willing to let me work from home, so I jumped at the chance to break out my awesome office and phone skills and put some hours into my pension and medical coverage plans.  Unfortunately, the cabana that we set up as my office is freezing in the winter, and was set up as an office for me... not really for me and crawling Supercrank.  So instead, I took over the dining table (yes, that's a second printer, sitting on a dining chair).

Wil has been very patient about the fact that we now eat on the couch with the ottoman serving as a soft table surface, and we no longer eat meals that require a knife and a fork.  Oh, and we usually eat those meals at 9pm.  His patience is due to the fact that he's a loving and understanding husband, and he's been putting in 70 hour work weeks, so he is also usually too tired to eat, much less complain about anything.

My projects will keep me busy through March, and my boss has been kind enough to let me work, even though we will be gone for a week on family trip to Hong Kong.  From the last three weeks I have put in, I have learned the following:

• Its REALLY REALLY REALLY nice to make a paycheck.
• You can only get the baby in and out of the car seat X number of times per day.  Planning must be strategic.
• I can get an awful lot done between the hours of 8pm and midnight.
• I do like and miss my job.  Somewhat.
• I am not quite ready to go back to full-time work.
• You can't have it all, but being really really close is really really fulfilling... not to mention stressful and tiring!

My Dad is Cliff Huxtable

I've been thinking a lot lately about how we learn to parent.

In a conversation about television families once, someone remarked that The Cosby Show was an unrealistic portrait of American family life, and that Roseanne was how "real" families interacted.  I remember being annoyed and a little offended at this comment because it was probably mostly true but....

Well, I was a little offended because, well, because my parents sorta were like the Cosbys, and the comment seemed to discount my upbringing as unrealistic and therefore invalid.  The implication was that since our parents were able to give us more, we hadn't worked as hard for what we had.  It had just been given to us (which is untrue, btw).  We were way more like the Cosbys than the Conners, and it had more to do with my Dad than with money.


I was in high school and my father and I were in a grocery store at 11pm one night when I think I realized it.  I had left him to go find something, and when I found him, he was in the cereal aisle by himself, doing what can only be called the Cliff Huxtable dance.  You know, the one in the opening montage, where he bends his knees and juts out his chin and sort of spasms to an internal Count Basie.  Dad was doing this in front of some Raisin Bran, and that's when it hit me:  my dad was a cross between Cliff Huxtable and Howard Cunningham.

When I thought about it, it made sense.  My father immigrated to LA in 1969, leaving his parents behind in Taiwan.  He now likes to give me little mini-lectures now about things like tooth care, as he now deals with the consequence of things he says his parents never taught him (i.e. the importance of good dental hygiene - in fairness, I don't think it was their top priority in China in the 1940's).  When we were kids in the 70's and 80's, my dad didn't have any family in California, much less his own parents, and well... he was in the United States.  My dad learned to be an "American" parent from tv.

Dad's Dad (Yeh-Yeh)

Dad, circa 1993   

Is it really that bad when you think about it?  I mean, he could have had worse role models.  If we're looking to tv now for guidance, who is there?  I'm seriously asking, I don't know.  My television habits are now extremely adult (Criminal Minds, Fringe) or Ni Hao Kai-Lan and Yo Gabba Gabba.  Sitcoms aren't the same anymore, so what family role models do we and our kids have?  Reality television?  The Hills and Gossip Girl?  God forbid, The Jersey Shore?!?!  Here's my other question - chicken or egg?  Is reality tv a reflection of how kids are really growing up, or are kids trying to be what they see on tv?  These are things I think about as I try to limit the amount of psycho therapy my kid might need in the future to a year or two, instead of a lifetime of Prozac.

Granted my Dad wasn't always camera perfect.  After all, I never saw Cliff slam his fist into the wall next to Theo's head, and Dad's "sex talk" (yes, I got it from my dad, not my mom) basically consisted of three sentences: Don't get pregnant.  Don't get any diseases.  If you don't, come to me; don't tell your mother.

But given the choices we seem to have these days... I'll watch reruns all day long.

Cart Cover Giveaway!

Note: those without kids babies... this post is probably not for you...  For those who just want to know how to win and don't care why Kozy Pal sucks... skip to the bottom!

I was soooo excited in December, when I started looking for a shopping cart cover (dorky, I know).  CJ was starting to sit up (stably) on his own, and I hate trying to use the car seat.  You can either put the seat in the basket and buy 5 items (he usually holds the bread in his lap), or you can put him in the top section so you can't see where you're going, thereby knocking over display stacks of Pringles and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.  The exception is the Costco shopping carts, which are large enough to hold baby rhinos, but sometimes you don't want 4,872 rolls of toilet paper, or 8 lbs of edamame.

After looking at them on Etsy and doing a Google search, I settled on an animal design from Kozy Pal Cart Covers.  The animals were print on a black background and the back of the cover was red, neutral enough, I thought, to use again if we have another child and its a girl.  I ordered it on December 26th, and received a confirmation email from their website that my order had been received, along with an order number.  $60 was charged to my credit card.   According to the website, the item was "In Stock and Ready to Ship!"  Also per their website, as long as it is not a custom order, they ship within two business days.  I thought I'd have my cover in a week and be leisurely tooling the aisles at Target in my Jimmy Choo's Crocs , with my kid regally waving to others like the Rose Queen.

One week went by.  Then two weeks went by.  I tried calling the 866 number on the website, and got a message that the party I was calling could not take my call.  No voicemail.  I tried the number again two days later, same message.  A day later, I used the "Contact Us" link on their website, and sent them a message, asking about my order and for someone to please contact me.  I even threatened to cancel the order.  Nada.  At the end of the third week, with still not response from Kozy Pal, I called the bank and disputed the charge.  They returned my $60 and began trying to contact the company themselves.

I went back to Etsy and bought another cart cover from Canadian Cozy.  I received a confirmation email, and then a day later, confirmation (with tracking number) that my cover had been shipped.  A week later, it arrived.  Its adorable and super soft, made with bamboo and cotton (no polyester).  I'm a little bummed it doesn't have a front pocket (it does have a side pocket on the inside left), but it does have a tiny loop up front I can hook a toy to.  And the company did actually send it when promised, and they were easy to reach, so I really have no complaints.

Unfortunately, two days after I disputed the charge, I received an email from Kozy Pal notifying me that my cover had shipped.  By this time, I was pretty mad, and sent them an email telling them so, which still elicited.... surprise surprise, no response!

So now I had two cart covers and was faced with the choice of which to keep and what to do with the other.  I kept the cover from Canadian Cozy, since, as my husband argued, the colors match everything else CJ has.  I left the Kozy Pal in the box, intending to refuse shipment and send it back, but curiosity got the better of me, and I opened it.  It is beautiful, the fabric is soft and the pattern pretty and neutral enough if you like a modern print.  While I'm not happy with their customer service (or lack thereof), the construction of this cover is quality.

So I decided to keep it and use it here as my very first giveaway!

 

  

 

You, dear readers (or anyone you know), can benefit from my poor experience with Kozy Pal and enter to win this lovely cart cover.  It fits any shopping cart or highchair,  is 100% washable and cotton (no polyester either), and comes with 2 convenient toy loops and a mom-pocket in front.  Installation is easy, and you can download directions for storing and installation here.  In addition, they no longer make this print, so this particular kart cover is truly unique.  It is brand new, unused, and did arrive wrapped securely in plastic.  I opened it and took it out only to take these pictures, I didn't even unroll it to get a good shot of the print, since I figured I would never get it rolled back so nice again.  Since they no longer make this print, I was unable to download a photo from their site.

There are three ways to enter the giveaway:

• Leave a comment on this post.  If you have nothing to say, just type in ENTER ME!!! and maybe a :) and I will.
• Shoot me an email at karen@cjs-playground.com with "kozy pal" in the subject line (no other shout out is necessary if you don't wanna)  
• Go to www.cjs-playground.com and check out the newsletter.  Subscribe by joining our mailing list, and not only will you receive the newsletter every Thursday, you'll automatically be entered in the giveaway!  For the month of February, every new reader will be automatically entered.

The contest deadline is February 28th.  A winner will be chosen at random and announced in the first week of March.

Spread the word, and let me know what you think!

Tag, I'm It

 I was tagged for this by Kys at Stir Fry Awesomeness (she is super awesome, btw), and in an effort to keep resolution # whatever-that-was (the one that says I'll blog once a week), here goes...

8 TV SHOWS I WATCH

• NCIS, the original
• Criminal Minds
• Fringe
• Bones (yes, my husband hates this too)
• Top Chef
• Intervention
• The Jersey Shore (this one is not by choice, but its a bad car accident with lots of carnage, you can't look away)
• Almost anything on the Food Network except Sandra Lee (somebody shoot her)

 8 FAVORITE PLACES TO EAT AND DRINK

• Our local sushi bar (no, I'm not telling you where that is)
• Oba Sushi (Pasadena)
• Boulevard (SF)
• Craftsteak (LV)
• Euro Pane (Pasadena)
• Fleming's
• Bette's Diner (Berkeley, CA for breakfast only, lunch is blah)
• Rutt's Cafe (Culver City, CA)
• Honorable mention goes to the Ritz Carlton San Francisco, which makes the best $11 cappuccino I've ever had

8 THINGS I LOOK FORWARD TO

• Wednesdays & Fridays (da Bug goes to daycare part-time)
• Paychecks.  Maybe someday I will get another one.
• Dinner out with the girls
• Massage
• Vacation
• Nap time, his and mine
  
• Spring in LA
• Our 5 year anniversary in Sedona with da Bug
  

8 THINGS THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY/OVER THE WEEKEND (that's how uneventful my life is, I had to combine 2 days)

• Bug's fever broke
• Dim Sum with Mom, Judy & CJ's 100-year-old Great Grandma! 
  
• Caught up on blogs... twice!
• Rutt's for breakfast, only a 40 minute drive for a $17 breakfast
• At dim sum, a button on my shirt popped open and my belly pooched out.  Sexy.
• Bug Bath.
• Uncle Jayson's visit.
• Grocery shopping in the rain, aka "quiet time"
  

8 THINGS I LOVE ABOUT WINTER

• Its not really "winter" in LA
• Rain
• Growing garlic, as slow a process as that is
• Winter soups and slow braises
• Hot baths
• Hot chocolate
• Boots
• Still being able to grill (in boots, after a hot bath, with a hot choco in hand)... it is LA, after all

8 THINGS ON MY WISH LIST

• a mini food processor
• a touchless soap dispenser
• front yard remodel
• kitchen/laundry room remodel to attach the cabana to the main house
• closets.  oh dear God, please send closets!
• a job.  not high on the wish list, but its there.
• shoes.  more please.
• financial freedom, aka unlimited funds.

8 THINGS I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT

• Food (can ya tell?)
• the Hubs
• Gardening (sorta, see item 1)
• Clean feet
• Education
• Reading
• Writing
• Personal responsibility & manifesting your own life. Don't cry me a river, I don't wanna hear it.  Do something about it.

8 WORDS I USE OFTEN

• "That's a dollar" (into the swear jar, that is)
• Feracious (this is one of my favorite words.  Its a cross between "fierce" and "voracious")
• "Um.... okay...."
• "What is wrong with people?"
• "Are you a stinky bug?"  He usually is.
• "Do you have any cash?"
• "... the store..."  everything revolves around the grocery store
• "Okay, but..."
  

8 THINGS I'VE LEARNED FROM THE PAST

• To leave it there.
• If its inedible, its inedible.
• Once you've taken off those rose colored glasses, you don't want to look through them again.
• Always double the garlic called for in recipes.
• Always halve the chipotle and/or adobo called for in recipes.
• Say yes to the epidural.
• Write it down, write it down, write it down!
• Some things don't change.  Move on.
  

8 THINGS I CURRENTLY WANT/NEED

• A snack.  Seriously, its late.
• Closets.  We tore the doors off ours to put in the new hardwood floors.... 9 months ago.
• A lime/lemon squeezer.  I wore the enamel off my old one.
• The final crown to replace this temporary (in my mouth, not on my head).
• Dots Cupcakes.  All the time.
• To lose 8 lbs.  These two are probably not going to happen together.
  
• A haircut.
• A massage that doesn't hurt.

8 PEOPLE YOU SHOULD FOLLOW

• Stir Fry Awesomeness (of course)
• The Crazy Baby Mama
• Orangette
• Bake at 350
• Prague Blog

I'm supposed to tag 8 people, but if you feel inclined to share... please do!

Secret Fast Food

A few months ago, after my friend Angela and I had finished a night yoga class, she got into my car so I could driver her to hers.  She hadn't yet shut the door when she said,

"You went to McDonalds?!?!"

In the front cup holder was a kid-size Diet Coke from earlier in the day.  I thought briefly about telling a white lie and making up an excuse.  After all, I live in LA, work in the film business, and with my Spanx can fake a size 4.   But the truth is, there is no explanation for a kids meal in my car, as the only kid in my car ever is my 7 month old, and he has yet to develop a taste for cheeseburgers. 

So I 'fessed up.  "Hey, it was that kind of day,"  I said.

What I meant was that it was the kind of day where the only chance I really got to eat was in my car, driving from one errand to another, feverently hoping the baby didn't freak out before we had gotten all our errands done.  You  know what I'm talking about, especially new moms - when you're home and he's awake, you feel the need to be with him all the time so he doesn't roll into the coffee table or the dog bowl.  When he is asleep you are busy washing or making bottles/ doing laundry/emptying the dishwasher/taking a shower/defrosting dinner/going to the bathroom/desperately searching for that last hit of meth so you can make it through the day.  By the time you've finished those things (and gotten in a good cry) he's awake again.

Angela's next sentence immediately made me feel better about being caught.  "I'm not a Happy Meal fan," she confessed.  "But have you had their McGriddles?!  Oohhhh..." then she rolled her eyes, licked her lips and gave a shudder.

See, we are not alone.

2010 To Do's

Its late.

Everyone is asleep and I should be heading that way as well.  The hubs is going back to that whole working thing tomorrow after two weeks off, and three cigarette-free days.  Here's to hoping tomorrow is day four.

The kid is finally sleeping quietly, after an evening of strange screeching, and an afternoon of napping that resulted in him waking up screaming for no discernible reason.  I am actually afraid the screeching is not really screeching, it's his precursor to speech and therefore now, his preferred way of communication.  The waking screaming part I attribute to his poor last night of sleep, given that his father had a nightmare at 3am and decided to bring the baby into our bed to comfort himself.  Like a live teddy bear that claws and kicks, that kind of comfort.

So its two weeks after my son's first Christmas, and three days into the new year, and I think I am supposed to be waxing reflective on the wondrous changes of the last year and all the things I plan to accomplish in the new year.  I'm supposed to be making resolutions, even though I don't really believe in them.  I'm doing neither of these things.  Please, I don't even have a picture of the hubs and the Bug in front of his first Christmas tree!  I'm thinking I forgot to buy thank you cards at Target today.  I'm thinking if I go to bed now, I can read for 20 minutes and it won't yet be tomorrow when I fall asleep.  I don't think over the last few months and marvel at the huge changes in my life... I guess I'm just living it because what is also really on my mind is how I have to clean this house since my housekeeper took January off to go to Belieze.

So here's my half-ass attempt, my long-term to-do list for 2010 (since I'm already done with the grocery list and the to-do list for tomorrow).

In 2010 I will...

• try not to eat dessert for breakfast.  This sounds basic, but is actually really hard for me.
• try to get my baby to sign.  It seems to be all the rage.
• pay down some debt.  Seriously.
• go back to work.  See previous item.
• lose at least 8 lbs to try to stave off the diabetes.  This doesn't sound like a lot of weight, but for some reason I can't get it off.  Maybe its the not exercising thing.
• blog at least once a week.
• actually follow the blogs I follow, at least once a week.
• get my website up and running and grow my readership.
• cultivate patience and grace.
• slow down and be present.

There it is, I put it out to the universe/blogosphere.  Now I can go to bed and read for 17 minutes.